I Didn't Know How to Start This

Every time I sat down to write an introduction to "Caregiver Life," I felt completely overwhelmed. How do you summarize a life when it feels like a flood of emotions and responsibilities? How do you capture a reality that is constantly moving?

It wasn't until I finally forced myself to type out everything happening around me right now that it all started to make sense. I realized I hadn’t just been missing the time to write; I had been actively avoiding it by busying myself with other real, necessary tasks. I practiced productive procrastination because starting this section felt like an overwhelming mountain I had to climb. But seeing it all on paper made me realize the truth: I couldn't start writing because I was simply too busy living.

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If you glanced at my calendar this week, you would see a beautiful, busy whirlwind of family milestones. My youngest daughter just graduated from junior high and is already diving into high school summer school. Tomorrow is my middle daughter’s last day of school before she officially begins her senior year. My oldest is back home for the summer and preparing to transfer to a new university in the fall. We just celebrated my mom’s 83rd birthday, my husband is in the middle of a campaign for a seat on the school board, and we have a big soccer tournament this weekend.  On top of it all, we are looking forward to an upcoming family vacation to Maui.

Besides life at home, there is the responsibility of caregiving. My dad has been in memory care for a year-and-a-half now, and my mom lives on her own in a senior community. I am their sole caregiver. And then, there is a deeply personal health journey I am walking through—a quiet mountain I am climbing that my parents don't even know about, held close to protect them. 

When I see it all listed out like that, it honestly amazes me how much is on my plate. I never paused to look at the contrast of these two worlds before; I just faced it as my daily reality and dealt with it. But re-reading these words makes me realize that writing this blog isn't just about sharing my story—it is helping me see and process my own life for the first time. It's a quiet, strange realization to look at my reality and know that most people don't see both of these worlds. Some only have a small idea, and I don't know if anyone truly knows the full depth of what I am balancing every day. 

I don’t see this chapter of my life as a heavy burden of stress; I just face it as my life. And in between, I find little joys in planning vacations and sharing KBeauty.  But the greatest joy comes in God. I cannot carry all of this on my own human strength, but I don't have to. God is with me in every single detail. 

I wanted to start this Caregiver Life journal because I want this to be a safe place for caregivers. Although our stories may be different, my hope is that you can come here to read, be encouraged, and know that you are not alone. We don't have to have it all figured out to take the next step. Sometimes, we just have to write it down, take a deep breath, and trust the One who is walking right beside us. 

Blessings, Michelle